Posted by: John Edwards | June 17, 2009

My Daughter’s Death (John Edwards Ex-Word of Faith testimony)

My Daughter’s Death

Jesus%20laughs%206My daughter Jennifer died nine years ago today from a brain tumor that we did not know that she had. At that time, our family was Word of Faith and we had just started a Word of Faith church a few weeks before. As a matter of fact, I had been right in the middle of a sermon series on healing when she died.

Jennifer had collapsed into a coma the day before. On the way to the hospital I was speaking the Word and trying to stay out of fear. In ICU, I tried everything on her that I had learned at RHEMA. I prayed, confessed, spoke the Word, believed I received, pleaded the Blood, made faith confessions, read the Word out loud over her, rebuked the devil, bound the devil, brought in faith healers, confessed my sins, got into agreement, had communion, prayed some more. Nothing worked. She passed during the night with me at her side. Then I tried to raise her from the dead.

I went home and got out my Bible and read every faith scripture in it that I could find. Yep, I had done everything that I had learned in the Word of Faith Movement and it all failed me. The message did not work. The formulas did not word. Confessing the Word did not work. Making faith confessions did not work.

My wife Coni quit being Word of Faith that day. She never agreed with my teaching from that point on, even though she supported me as a pastor. I’m not as smart as she is. It took me another eight years of beating my head against the wall to realize that I was totally screwed up in my theology and my relationship with God.

I now know that God is Sovereign in all that He does and all that He allows. I have learned that I cannot control my life and my future by speaking words. I now know that the power is in living the Word and not speaking it as a magical spell. I now know that God brought my Jennifer Home that day and that He had no further plans for her down here. I no longer beat myself up for not having enough faith. I now know that those faith scriptures that I had been speaking were primarily for the Apostles in establishing the Church. It is freeing. I am free.



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